Gossip

A couple of thoughts from the single-volume Bible commentary I'm using, from the book of Proverbs:

Go not forth hastily to strive, lest thou know not what to do in the end thereof, when thy neighbor hath put thee to shame.  Debate thy cause with thy neighbor himself, and disclose not a secret to another, Lest he that heareth it put thee to shame, and thine infamy turn not away.  (Proverbs 25:8-10)

After remarking that the Bible condemns a litigious spirit (rushing to court to settle grievances), and that a person may be put to shame after giving his testimony by the testimony of his neighbor, we are exhorted to follow Matthew 18 and handle grievances privately rather than talking about them to others.  Then comes this quote from an unknown author:

   A little disagreement arises with some friends, and you have not
   the courage to go and speak about it to that friend alone, but
   mention it to another.  The principle laid down in God's Word is
   forgotten, and mischief follows.  Talking about a thing of this kind
   does no good, and in the end widens the breach.  If we would only
   take such a passage as our guide, and regulate our conduct by it
   we would lay aside many trivial "causes" of offense, and spare
   ourselves many disturbings of mind.

It is okay to have a difference of opinion with others.  It is even possible that they might be right.  Certainly there are many things in the Scriptures that are crystal clear and cannot and should not be compromised on, but some things are not easily understood and sincere, godly Christians may think differently about them.

Where no wood is, there the fire goeth out; so where there is no talebearer, the strife ceaseth.  As coals are to burning coals, and wood to fire, so is a contentious man to kindle strife.  (Proverbs 26:20-21)

Fuel feeds a fire, and gossip feeds trouble.  Strife will die out when the one causing the trouble stops adding to the problem with aggravations, gossip, and lies.  The following quote came from the Atlanta Journal (no further information was available regarding the quote):

   I am more deadly than the screaming shell of a howitzer.  I win
   without killing.  I tear down homes, break hearts, and wreck lives.
   I travel on the wings of the wind.  No innocence is strong enough to
   intimidate me, no purity pure enough to daunt me.  I have no
   regard for truth, no respect for justice, no mercy for the defenseless.
   My victims are as numerous as the sands of the sea, and often as
   innocent.  I never forget and seldom forgive.  My name is Gossip!

These verses and accompanying comments really stood out to me this week.  It is much easier to engage in gossip than to go to the person as Matthew 18 requires.  If you don't talk to the other person, how do you know what they are thinking or feeling, or their perspective?  How often there is trouble between Christians which could be avoided if Matthew 18 was followed.  We are quick to criticize and judge others, when, if we would simply talk to the person, we might find out there is a simple difference of opinion, a different perspective, or--gasp!--that we misunderstood the situation.  It makes me wonder how many friendships have been broken, family relationships strained, and churches torn apart because of the sin of gossip.  A sober warning, indeed.