Finally Home with the Lord

This will be a long post. It is the final update I sent out on my mother, who recently died of cancer:

We are trusting that Mom is rejoicing in heaven, and want to thank all of you for your prayers, care, cards, and concern during this difficult time. God was very gracious to us last week. There were some things that we wish had not happened, but here is a list of some of the blessings, not in any particular order:

*Several weeks ago one of Mom's best friends had visited, and got Mom to write down and discuss more about funeral arrangements than Chris and Jeanie had been able to get her to do. That was a huge help as we worked on arrangements last week.

*I called Mom on Saturday night, instead of waiting until Sunday. By then she was on morphine and pretty much incoherent. She was lucid for a few minutes on Monday morning when the hospice aide was there cleaning her up. That was the last time.

*Her pain was somewhat better on Monday, and she was resting more easily, so Chris and Jeanie decided to make a quick trip to the local funeral home to gather information in the afternoon. The funeral director was very kind and helpful. Little did any of them know just how soon they would need his services!

*Mom did not suffer long. Because Mom was sleeping so much, Jeanie had been working downstairs Monday evening, and had to go upstairs for a few minutes. On her way up, she stopped to listen for Mom's breathing. She heard it, so she continued on up the stairs. When she came down a few minutes later, she didn't hear Mom. She ran over, but Mom was gone.

*Hospice moved very quickly when called, and they picked up everything the next day so we wouldn't have to see it. It did leave a huge empty place in the living room, however, where the hospital bed had been. Later in the week Dad asked to have something put there, so Dewayne and David moved the recliner to that corner. Also, we were home when FedEx came with something for Mom, so Chris was able to refuse it.

*They were able to keep the body at the house until we got there, which was about 1:30 a.m. Tuesday (Mom died at 6:55 p.m. Monday). The funeral director, Allen Earl, came with his wife, Louella, in the middle of the night to pick up the body and again, they were very kind and compassionate.

*The Earls were a great blessing throughout the whole process. They carefully walked us through the myriad of details that needed to be taken care of, worked hard to keep costs down (for Dad's sake, especially; Mom didn't have much life insurance), and were very patient in answering our many questions. Allen even gave me extra materials for planning a funeral, as this experience got Dewayne and I to thinking. The funeral home was a lovely old house and beautifully decorated.

*It did not rain until after the graveside service.

*Just over 100 people came to the calling hours Friday. It was so nice to see old friends, and family members I hadn't seen for ages. One of Mom's surviving brothers was able to make it. So did my (and Jeanie's) old high school business teacher.

*Most of Mom's pictures were at Chris and Jeanie's, so we were able to make use of them for a couple of picture boards. We also located the hymns she wanted used at her service.

*I was able to play two songs for the service.

*There were a lot of flowers and plants, making a very nice display. Dewayne's family sent a huge basket full of plants, and David's employer sent a planter, too. Parker sent a meat-and-cheese box to our house.

*Dad was able to give some input into all the arrangements. We felt badly that he probably didn't hear much of what was going on. Crowds and noise are hard on him because his hearing aid acts up.

*Dewayne, David, and Daniel were all told by their employers to take as much time as they needed. It was a great blessing to me to have them with me during the week. David went with us Monday, Daniel drove over on Tuesday afternoon, which was good since we needed the space of two cars to bring everything home. Thank the Lord, He gave Dewayne strength to drive and stay awake for the 5-hour trip over there, after a full day at work.

*People from the area churches brought food for us throughout the week, and provided a nice dinner after the service Saturday. There was also a lot of food available for us during calling hours. Some old, dear friends took charge of everything involved with that.

*Jeanie and I were able to go through a lot of Mom's things. Most of her clothing and personal items were at Jeanie's house. It was hard to see Dad going through the things in the living room.

*David and Daniel spent some time babysitting and playing with Nathan, which was a big help to Chris and Jeanie and gave "Grampa" a break. They also helped with various aspects of the arrangements.

*A family had purchased a number of burial plots in the old section of Maple Grove Cemetery in Argos, not far from Chris and Jeanie's house. One man and his wife had moved to Florida years ago and decided to be buried there, so they asked Allen to sell their plots and gave him the deeds. The original purchase price was $200; Allen said he'd ask if they would sell them for that, and if not, would we pay $300? We said yes. The man would not sell for $200, but he would for $300. Praise the Lord! The current rate for EACH plot was $350, and we got TWO of them for $300. They were in a great spot--next to the main road and under a maple tree. Easy for Dad to find.

*One of the greatest blessings for me came on Friday during calling hours, when one of my sons suddenly said to me, "The Gerbers are here!" I nearly fell off the bench; surely not! Yet, there they all were. They took time out of their vacation and drove two hours one way to come and minister to us in our sorrow. It made my whole day! Even now I can't think of it without crying and thanking the Lord for such friends. Were it not for the distance, I'm sure others of you would have come as well.

*Throughout the week we had many occasions to be grateful for Heritage Baptist Church and the folks there. In the past eleven years we have learned much. Thank you very much, Pastor Alvis, for your faithful preaching of God's Word that has brought about so much change and growth in our lives! Thank you, people of Heritage, for your prayers, love, and concern. It has been a joy to worship and minister with you.
God is so good!!!

*Saturday night I happened to glance out the window and saw a glorious sunset! Jeanie and I went outside to look at it and try to take pictures. There was a dark blue cloud bank, but right above it was brilliant yellow, with an even more brilliant "path" going "up" through the sky. Made us think of God's glory and heaven! "I'm walking up the glory road to heaven, by faith it seems to be not far away..."

*The cemetery is very close to the road we take heading home, so we were able to stop for a few minutes on the way. "See you later, Mom."
I remember Stephanie Schwartz saying something similar "to" her dad during his service.

*Safe travel both ways, and all the time we were there.

*Everyone stayed healthy. Chris had a few problems (he stayed up late every night working on things; they do it often), but I felt a lot better than I expected to, even with a lot less sleep and a wacky schedule.

*Several of Chris' unsaved family members came on Friday and to the service Saturday, and heard the gospel. They came to the house for awhile after the dinner Saturday, and the Lord helped us talk to them. I usually don't do very well at that.

*I had an opportunity to comfort and encourage in the Lord one of Mom's dearest friends, who has had the same kind of cancer, and is now having some physical difficulties, so they are wondering if it is back and has metastasized. Her name is Betty; husband, Earl.

*Some friends provided Chris and Jeanie with a gift certificate to a restaurant near their house, and we were all able to go out for dinner one night (except my dad and brother, who weren't there).

*Hugs and comforting words from dear friends.

*Friends who picked up extra copies of the papers for us, so we could have the obituaries.

*Max and Cheryl, Dad's neighbors, and Earl and Betty (mentioned earlier), who checked on Dad while he was at the house for a couple of days, and brought him food.

*Our former pastor from Grace Baptist in Angola, who twice told me to let him know if there was anything we needed/they could do.

*God's grace for Pastor Kaukonen, who did TWO funerals last week. After Mom's, his wife, Jan (another of Mom's best friends), was going to Grand Rapids for the weekend to help with her mom. Jan also played for our service Saturday.

*I think I only saw one ladybug in the house this time. Last time there were quite a few, in the bathroom, dining room, our bedroom, etc., etc.

*When I hugged Dad before we left, he asked when he would see me again.

*Special sister hugs.

*Learning so many things--about funerals, my parents, my brother, my sister and her family, ourselves, friends, family, God, living the Christian life, belief, faith, trust, acceptance, compassion, love, etc., etc.


Some quirky/funny things:

*The obituary in the Sturgis paper said, "...Pastor Aaron Kaukonen of Maple Grove Cemetery..." We all laughed at that, and he got a lot of teasing about having a captive audience, a dead church, etc. He is the pastor at First Baptist in Findlay; Maple Grove is where we buried Mom.

*Allen's habit of saying, "Know this..." when telling us things. :-)

*Chris forgetting to lead us in one of the songs during the service, right before the message. So, he read the words after the message and before the last hymn.

*An old friend from our church in Colon died three hours after Mom did (Pastor K. did her funeral, too). We had fun picturing their meeting in glory. :-)

*Pastor Kaukonen knew two of my cousins in college. I didn't even know one of them existed, though I remember his dad, my Uncle Earl. Pastor even thought he'd taken my cousin Laurel on a date once.

*The kids trying to pry up the elevator/lift door in the floor at the funeral home, because they were curious about what was under there. =-O

*How quickly Nathan went from tears to being fine when there was something else to attract his attention. Once when he came in Jeanie was on the phone, and refused to be comforted by Dad or me. I suddenly remembered some pretty stones I'd found while going through Mom's things in the garage (Nathan loves pretty stones) and a green box (he loves green), so I showed him the stones and we went to the garage to find a "treasure box" to keep them in. That was all it took. It will be a nice memento of Mom for him.

*Jeanie said that not long after I went home last time, she was standing at the kitchen sink when Nathan came up behind her and giggled. She asked him what was so funny, and he said, "I thought you were Aunt Cherie!"

*Pictures, especially the one of Dad and Mom in costume.

*Another woman with the same name as my mom (even the same middle initial!) had died in South Bend a couple of days before Mom did. When Allen called hospice to get doctor information so he could get the death certificates, they gave him the name of the doctor in that county. All went well until he asked them about picking up the certificates. They said, "Your man came and got them yesterday!" They went back and forth with him for awhile about that, both parties getting a little frustrated, then suddenly Allen realized the problem, and asked what county they were in. Then he knew it was the wrong doctor's office. He had seen the other woman's obituary and thought it a strange coincidence, as did we when he told us.

Again, thank you all so much for your prayers and concern. With God's help, we will all make it through this. He has taught us much already.

Pressing on by His grace,

All of us survivors