Friday I was out grocery shopping. Outside a couple of the stores were men asking people to buy poppies to support veterans. One man was busy talking to another, so he didn't ask me, but at the other store a man did. I declined. Here's why.
I am privileged to have a veteran in my family. My dad is a veteran of the Korean War. He was in the Air Force. If I remember correctly, he left soon after he and Mom were married and was gone most of the next four years. I believe she stayed behind and worked. Dad didn't have much of a retirement account (if any), so today I am doing my part to support veterans by helping my veteran dad as much as he'll let me. (grin)
Dad grew up on a farm, had to work hard, and didn't have a college education, but his military service enabled him to get pilot's training, which he used in his work as a self-employed salesman. We had a couple of small airplanes when I was growing up. The first was a four-seater, then when my sister came along (surprise!) we got a six-seater. I remember spending time at the airport in Coldwater with Dad, watching planes taking off and landing, wandering around the hangars, hearing the radio chatter between the airport and planes, reading the shirttails on the walls, washing the plane, and taking off and landing ourselves. (Whenever someone completed his solo flight, they would cut his shirttail off and hang it on the airport wall. Most, if not all, of them had funny sayings written on them. The one I remember is, "Altimeter was not reset, airplane and runway never met.").
Anyway, seeing those men out there reminded me again of the high price of freedom, which I too often take for granted. A few days ago we heard a radio interview with a man whose ministry helps wounded soldiers with their recovery and gives them hope for the future. He himself was horribly wounded and burned when a sniper shot at and exploded a phosphorus grenade he was holding. He shared his story and talked about some of the soldiers they have helped. It is a Christian ministry, and the best part was hearing how they speak of the Lord, and the hope He offers to all of us, to the soldiers under their program, and what He has done in their lives.
This is Memorial Day 2010, and in closing I want to say, "Thanks, Dad!" and a big "THANK YOU!!!!!" to all the members of our military and their families for their sacrifices for our country.
Monday, May 31, 2010
Sunday, May 30, 2010
Hymns #9 - Alas! My God! My Sins are Great
This hymn seemed appropriate since we are currently reading in I Samuel, and last week read about David's sin with Bathsheba (among others).
Alas! My God! My Sins are Great
Alas! my God! my sins are great,
My conscience doth upbraid me;
And now I find that at my strait
No man hath power to aid me.
And fled I hence, in my despair,
In some lone spot to hide me,
My griefs would still be with me there,
Thy hand still hold and guide me.
Nay, Thee I seek—I merit naught,
Yet pity and restore me;
Be not Thy wrath, just God, my lot,
Thy Son hath suffered for me.
If pain and woe must follow sin,
Then be my path still rougher,
Here spare me not; if Heaven I win,
On earth I gladly suffer.
But curb my heart, forgive my guilt,
Make Thou my patience firmer,
For they must miss the good Thou wilt,
Who at Thy teachings murmur.
Then deal with me as seems Thee best,
Thy grace will help me bear it,
If but at last I see Thy rest,
And with my Savior share it.
(Words by Johann Major, 1613)
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
Forgiveness - Part 4
I was both impressed and convicted by John MacArthur's letter, quoted over a three-day period. It is indeed easy to make "empty apologies or cling to cheap forgiveness." As he mentions, from childhood we learn the benefits of a quick "I'm sorry" to diffuse trouble and often mitigate consequences (if not removing them entirely!). It is much easier for us as parents, too, to accept the quick apology and let it go, rather than meting out appropriate consequences for sin.
He was also right on in saying that "Much of our society accepts that, no matter how egregious, any transgression can be completely wiped away with the right words and a few tears. No thought is given to the need for restitution, a true change of heart, or any authentic fruit of repentance. Far from it, in fact--the kind of apologies common today are intended to protect (underlined in original) the status quo. The less you have to change, the better."
Self-examination revealed that I have often been guilty of the attitudes/actions described above. I grew up thinking that way, and do it even as an adult. However, in His grace, God has caused me to begin thinking a lot more about what obedience and repentance really mean. It is NOT enough to just toss off an apology; as MacArthur says, "You can't patch the deep wounds of sin with bandages of fleeting sorrow and momentary regret And reluctant, half-hearted forgiveness barely masks the grudge you're holding. In fact, decades of counseling troubled couples have convinced me that even the most complicated relationship problems always (underlined in original) come down to a lack of either repentance or forgiveness."
How often have I quickly offered an "I'm sorry" or even just "sorry" to my husband or sons when I've obviously done something to hurt or offend them, or committed a sin in their presence? What am I sorry for? That I got caught, or humiliated, or embarrassed, or all three? Or is there genuine sorrow because once again I have failed my God by sinning?
I am saving the letter, and desire to remind myself of its truths often, asking God to help me better understand and practice both forgiveness and true repentance.
He was also right on in saying that "Much of our society accepts that, no matter how egregious, any transgression can be completely wiped away with the right words and a few tears. No thought is given to the need for restitution, a true change of heart, or any authentic fruit of repentance. Far from it, in fact--the kind of apologies common today are intended to protect (underlined in original) the status quo. The less you have to change, the better."
Self-examination revealed that I have often been guilty of the attitudes/actions described above. I grew up thinking that way, and do it even as an adult. However, in His grace, God has caused me to begin thinking a lot more about what obedience and repentance really mean. It is NOT enough to just toss off an apology; as MacArthur says, "You can't patch the deep wounds of sin with bandages of fleeting sorrow and momentary regret And reluctant, half-hearted forgiveness barely masks the grudge you're holding. In fact, decades of counseling troubled couples have convinced me that even the most complicated relationship problems always (underlined in original) come down to a lack of either repentance or forgiveness."
How often have I quickly offered an "I'm sorry" or even just "sorry" to my husband or sons when I've obviously done something to hurt or offend them, or committed a sin in their presence? What am I sorry for? That I got caught, or humiliated, or embarrassed, or all three? Or is there genuine sorrow because once again I have failed my God by sinning?
I am saving the letter, and desire to remind myself of its truths often, asking God to help me better understand and practice both forgiveness and true repentance.
He that covereth his sins shall not prosper,
but whoso confesseth and forsaketh
them shall have mercy.
(Proverbs 28:13)
but whoso confesseth and forsaketh
them shall have mercy.
(Proverbs 28:13)
Monday, May 24, 2010
Forgiveness - Part 3
More from John MacArthur's letter on forgiveness:
"Real, biblical repentance comes from confronting the realities of your sin, the pain it has caused, and the high price of restoring the relationships you've damaged. It's not about self-preservation. It's an attitude and an act, the produce of humble grief over your sin. It's not merely a single step or moment in the restoration process--genuine repentance means living out a pattern of transformed behavior. It's not a means; it's the end. [Note: words in bold are underlined in the original letter]
"True forgiveness is equally vital. The restoration process can't begin until you've set aside the wrong that was done to you. The pains that others have caused you may take time to diminish, and some may never fully go away. But forgiveness demands you set aside your wrath--even when it's justified--for the sake of restoring the relationship. When you fail to forgive someone fully, you hinder his or her repentance. Instead of being the victim, you become the culprit.
"The fact is, forgiveness can be much more difficult than repentance. We're not naturally prone to setting aside our pain and wrath when friends and family sin against us. It takes discipline, prayer, and faith. Outside of a right relationship with the Lord, it's impossible to have a proper perspective when someone sins against you--when you realize what He has already forgiven you, it's far easier to forgive others.
"Right relationships with friends and family are not a luxury--they're a vital testimony of your faith in the Lord and your love for His Word and His people...
"Some people might tell you there are simpler, more practical ways to repair broken relationships. Perhaps they'd point to some twelve-step process of reconciliation, or try to convince you that you can't love others until you love yourself.
"But that is dangerously, even lethally, wrong--and it's a classic example of why we need to understand what the Bible teaches. Biblical knowledge isn't a cul-de-sac, and theology is not an academic pursuit. For better or worse, your understanding of eternal truth always shows up in how you live from day to day. It guides and defines everything you do at work, at home, and everywhere in between. In simple terms, what you believe about God and His Word is the most important thing about you."
"Real, biblical repentance comes from confronting the realities of your sin, the pain it has caused, and the high price of restoring the relationships you've damaged. It's not about self-preservation. It's an attitude and an act, the produce of humble grief over your sin. It's not merely a single step or moment in the restoration process--genuine repentance means living out a pattern of transformed behavior. It's not a means; it's the end. [Note: words in bold are underlined in the original letter]
"True forgiveness is equally vital. The restoration process can't begin until you've set aside the wrong that was done to you. The pains that others have caused you may take time to diminish, and some may never fully go away. But forgiveness demands you set aside your wrath--even when it's justified--for the sake of restoring the relationship. When you fail to forgive someone fully, you hinder his or her repentance. Instead of being the victim, you become the culprit.
"The fact is, forgiveness can be much more difficult than repentance. We're not naturally prone to setting aside our pain and wrath when friends and family sin against us. It takes discipline, prayer, and faith. Outside of a right relationship with the Lord, it's impossible to have a proper perspective when someone sins against you--when you realize what He has already forgiven you, it's far easier to forgive others.
"Right relationships with friends and family are not a luxury--they're a vital testimony of your faith in the Lord and your love for His Word and His people...
"Some people might tell you there are simpler, more practical ways to repair broken relationships. Perhaps they'd point to some twelve-step process of reconciliation, or try to convince you that you can't love others until you love yourself.
"But that is dangerously, even lethally, wrong--and it's a classic example of why we need to understand what the Bible teaches. Biblical knowledge isn't a cul-de-sac, and theology is not an academic pursuit. For better or worse, your understanding of eternal truth always shows up in how you live from day to day. It guides and defines everything you do at work, at home, and everywhere in between. In simple terms, what you believe about God and His Word is the most important thing about you."
Sunday, May 23, 2010
Hymns #8 - At Even, Ere the Sun Was Set
At Even, Ere the Sun Was Set
At even, ere the sun was set,
The sick, O Lord, around Thee lay;
O, with how many pains they met!
O, with what joy they went away!
Once more ’tis eventide, and we,
Oppressed with various ills, draw near;
What if Thyself we cannot see?
We know that Thou art ever near.
O Savior Christ, our woes dispel;
For some are sick, and some are sad;
And some have never loved Thee well,
And some have lost the love they had.
And some are pressed with worldly care
And some are tried with sinful doubt;
And some such grievous passions tear,
That only Thou canst cast them out.
And some have found the world is vain,
Yet from the world they break not free;
And some have friends who give them pain,
Yet have not sought a friend in Thee.
And none, O Lord, have perfect rest,
For none are wholly free from sin;
And they who fain would serve Thee best
Are conscious most of wrong within.
O Savior Christ, Thou too art man;
Thou has been troubled, tempted, tried;
Thy kind but searching glance can scan
The very wounds that shame would hide.
Thy touch has still its ancient power.
No word from Thee can fruitless fall;
Hear, in this solemn evening hour,
And in Thy mercy heal us all.
(Words by Henry Twells)
Saturday, May 22, 2010
Forgiveness - Part 2
Continuing with the letter from John MacArthur about forgiveness:
"Embarrassed public figures are not the only ones prone to make empty apologies or cling to cheap forgiveness--the same pattern is common much closer to home and in very personal ways. One of the early lessons of childhood is that a quick 'I'm sorry' goes a long way to diffusing trouble, and most adults operate on a similar notion that forgiveness should be fast and easy. Much of our society accepts that, no matter how egregious, any transgression can be completely wiped away with the right words and a few tears. No thought is given to the need for restitution, a true change of heart, or any authentic fruit of repentance. Far from it, in fact--the kind of apologies common today are intended to protect the status quo. The less you have to change, the better. [Note: words in bold are underlined in the original letter]
"At the root of those shallow apologies is a culture-wide misunderstanding of what true repentance and forgiveness look like. There's almost no thought given to people sinned against, or the impact that sin has had in lives--often the only thing a person is truly sorry about is that he or she was caught in the first place. And on the other side of the equation, grudges are nurtured for years, burying relationships in unaddressed anger and resentment that far exceed the original sin that caused it.
"And in a common, perverse reversal of blame, the most skilled apologizers are able to spin the facts of their transgressions and make themselves out to be the victims of their own weakness. By that standard, human frailty has become its own excuse.
"In fact, failure to repent guarantees the cycle of sin will remain unbroken. You can't patch the deep wounds of sin with bandages of fleeting sorrow and momentary regret. And reluctant, half-hearted forgiveness barely masks the grudge you're holding. In fact, decades of counseling troubled couples have convinced me that even the most complicated relationship problems always come down to a lack of either repentance or forgiveness."
More on Monday....
"Embarrassed public figures are not the only ones prone to make empty apologies or cling to cheap forgiveness--the same pattern is common much closer to home and in very personal ways. One of the early lessons of childhood is that a quick 'I'm sorry' goes a long way to diffusing trouble, and most adults operate on a similar notion that forgiveness should be fast and easy. Much of our society accepts that, no matter how egregious, any transgression can be completely wiped away with the right words and a few tears. No thought is given to the need for restitution, a true change of heart, or any authentic fruit of repentance. Far from it, in fact--the kind of apologies common today are intended to protect the status quo. The less you have to change, the better. [Note: words in bold are underlined in the original letter]
"At the root of those shallow apologies is a culture-wide misunderstanding of what true repentance and forgiveness look like. There's almost no thought given to people sinned against, or the impact that sin has had in lives--often the only thing a person is truly sorry about is that he or she was caught in the first place. And on the other side of the equation, grudges are nurtured for years, burying relationships in unaddressed anger and resentment that far exceed the original sin that caused it.
"And in a common, perverse reversal of blame, the most skilled apologizers are able to spin the facts of their transgressions and make themselves out to be the victims of their own weakness. By that standard, human frailty has become its own excuse.
"In fact, failure to repent guarantees the cycle of sin will remain unbroken. You can't patch the deep wounds of sin with bandages of fleeting sorrow and momentary regret. And reluctant, half-hearted forgiveness barely masks the grudge you're holding. In fact, decades of counseling troubled couples have convinced me that even the most complicated relationship problems always come down to a lack of either repentance or forgiveness."
More on Monday....
Friday, May 21, 2010
Forgiveness - Part 1
John MacArthur sent out a letter recently dealing with forgiveness. I'd like to quote from it over a period of several days, beginning today:
"We have all been exposed to the latest in a long line of athletes, politicians, and celebrities who've been caught up in scandal and used broadcast media to make a public appeal for forgiveness.
"It's a pattern we see to often that public apologies have become cliche'. Whether televised live, pre-taped, or released through the press in writing, a tearful statement of regret or apology is now one of the necessary steps to putting out the fires of scandal and repairing a public image.
"But what does it really mean to ask in such an impersonal way for forgiveness from an audience of millions? How does a nationwide--or sometimes worldwide--audience show 'forgiveness' to a public figure? More important, is such a broad generic appeal for forgiveness really anything more than just a shrewd public relations maneuver?
"Consider the usuall substance of those public apologies: there's often some talk about betraying family values, losing sight of what really matters, and 'hurting.' While you may get a vague impression that the person at the center of the scandal is sorry for what he or she did, you almost never hear the words sin or repent. You will hear the word forgive repeatedly. [Note: words in bold were underlined in the original letter]
"And what kind of forgiveness are they looking for? We weren't the ones sinned against--we're simply bystanders. In the absence of any real, personal relationship, the forgiveness most of those shamed athletes, celebrities, and politicians want is more about perception--it's an appeal to you and me to not have a low opinion of them. That kind of clemency isn't demonstrated in restored relationships, but rather by standing ovations, ticket sales, and votes. It's a pragmatic appeal--they don't want to lose you as a customer or constituent."
More next time....
"We have all been exposed to the latest in a long line of athletes, politicians, and celebrities who've been caught up in scandal and used broadcast media to make a public appeal for forgiveness.
"It's a pattern we see to often that public apologies have become cliche'. Whether televised live, pre-taped, or released through the press in writing, a tearful statement of regret or apology is now one of the necessary steps to putting out the fires of scandal and repairing a public image.
"But what does it really mean to ask in such an impersonal way for forgiveness from an audience of millions? How does a nationwide--or sometimes worldwide--audience show 'forgiveness' to a public figure? More important, is such a broad generic appeal for forgiveness really anything more than just a shrewd public relations maneuver?
"Consider the usuall substance of those public apologies: there's often some talk about betraying family values, losing sight of what really matters, and 'hurting.' While you may get a vague impression that the person at the center of the scandal is sorry for what he or she did, you almost never hear the words sin or repent. You will hear the word forgive repeatedly. [Note: words in bold were underlined in the original letter]
"And what kind of forgiveness are they looking for? We weren't the ones sinned against--we're simply bystanders. In the absence of any real, personal relationship, the forgiveness most of those shamed athletes, celebrities, and politicians want is more about perception--it's an appeal to you and me to not have a low opinion of them. That kind of clemency isn't demonstrated in restored relationships, but rather by standing ovations, ticket sales, and votes. It's a pragmatic appeal--they don't want to lose you as a customer or constituent."
More next time....
Thursday, May 20, 2010
Finally Home with the Lord
This will be a long post. It is the final update I sent out on my mother, who recently died of cancer:
We are trusting that Mom is rejoicing in heaven, and want to thank all of you for your prayers, care, cards, and concern during this difficult time. God was very gracious to us last week. There were some things that we wish had not happened, but here is a list of some of the blessings, not in any particular order:
*Several weeks ago one of Mom's best friends had visited, and got Mom to write down and discuss more about funeral arrangements than Chris and Jeanie had been able to get her to do. That was a huge help as we worked on arrangements last week.
*I called Mom on Saturday night, instead of waiting until Sunday. By then she was on morphine and pretty much incoherent. She was lucid for a few minutes on Monday morning when the hospice aide was there cleaning her up. That was the last time.
*Her pain was somewhat better on Monday, and she was resting more easily, so Chris and Jeanie decided to make a quick trip to the local funeral home to gather information in the afternoon. The funeral director was very kind and helpful. Little did any of them know just how soon they would need his services!
*Mom did not suffer long. Because Mom was sleeping so much, Jeanie had been working downstairs Monday evening, and had to go upstairs for a few minutes. On her way up, she stopped to listen for Mom's breathing. She heard it, so she continued on up the stairs. When she came down a few minutes later, she didn't hear Mom. She ran over, but Mom was gone.
*Hospice moved very quickly when called, and they picked up everything the next day so we wouldn't have to see it. It did leave a huge empty place in the living room, however, where the hospital bed had been. Later in the week Dad asked to have something put there, so Dewayne and David moved the recliner to that corner. Also, we were home when FedEx came with something for Mom, so Chris was able to refuse it.
*They were able to keep the body at the house until we got there, which was about 1:30 a.m. Tuesday (Mom died at 6:55 p.m. Monday). The funeral director, Allen Earl, came with his wife, Louella, in the middle of the night to pick up the body and again, they were very kind and compassionate.
*The Earls were a great blessing throughout the whole process. They carefully walked us through the myriad of details that needed to be taken care of, worked hard to keep costs down (for Dad's sake, especially; Mom didn't have much life insurance), and were very patient in answering our many questions. Allen even gave me extra materials for planning a funeral, as this experience got Dewayne and I to thinking. The funeral home was a lovely old house and beautifully decorated.
*It did not rain until after the graveside service.
*Just over 100 people came to the calling hours Friday. It was so nice to see old friends, and family members I hadn't seen for ages. One of Mom's surviving brothers was able to make it. So did my (and Jeanie's) old high school business teacher.
*Most of Mom's pictures were at Chris and Jeanie's, so we were able to make use of them for a couple of picture boards. We also located the hymns she wanted used at her service.
*I was able to play two songs for the service.
*There were a lot of flowers and plants, making a very nice display. Dewayne's family sent a huge basket full of plants, and David's employer sent a planter, too. Parker sent a meat-and-cheese box to our house.
*Dad was able to give some input into all the arrangements. We felt badly that he probably didn't hear much of what was going on. Crowds and noise are hard on him because his hearing aid acts up.
*Dewayne, David, and Daniel were all told by their employers to take as much time as they needed. It was a great blessing to me to have them with me during the week. David went with us Monday, Daniel drove over on Tuesday afternoon, which was good since we needed the space of two cars to bring everything home. Thank the Lord, He gave Dewayne strength to drive and stay awake for the 5-hour trip over there, after a full day at work.
*People from the area churches brought food for us throughout the week, and provided a nice dinner after the service Saturday. There was also a lot of food available for us during calling hours. Some old, dear friends took charge of everything involved with that.
*Jeanie and I were able to go through a lot of Mom's things. Most of her clothing and personal items were at Jeanie's house. It was hard to see Dad going through the things in the living room.
*David and Daniel spent some time babysitting and playing with Nathan, which was a big help to Chris and Jeanie and gave "Grampa" a break. They also helped with various aspects of the arrangements.
*A family had purchased a number of burial plots in the old section of Maple Grove Cemetery in Argos, not far from Chris and Jeanie's house. One man and his wife had moved to Florida years ago and decided to be buried there, so they asked Allen to sell their plots and gave him the deeds. The original purchase price was $200; Allen said he'd ask if they would sell them for that, and if not, would we pay $300? We said yes. The man would not sell for $200, but he would for $300. Praise the Lord! The current rate for EACH plot was $350, and we got TWO of them for $300. They were in a great spot--next to the main road and under a maple tree. Easy for Dad to find.
*One of the greatest blessings for me came on Friday during calling hours, when one of my sons suddenly said to me, "The Gerbers are here!" I nearly fell off the bench; surely not! Yet, there they all were. They took time out of their vacation and drove two hours one way to come and minister to us in our sorrow. It made my whole day! Even now I can't think of it without crying and thanking the Lord for such friends. Were it not for the distance, I'm sure others of you would have come as well.
*Throughout the week we had many occasions to be grateful for Heritage Baptist Church and the folks there. In the past eleven years we have learned much. Thank you very much, Pastor Alvis, for your faithful preaching of God's Word that has brought about so much change and growth in our lives! Thank you, people of Heritage, for your prayers, love, and concern. It has been a joy to worship and minister with you.
God is so good!!!
*Saturday night I happened to glance out the window and saw a glorious sunset! Jeanie and I went outside to look at it and try to take pictures. There was a dark blue cloud bank, but right above it was brilliant yellow, with an even more brilliant "path" going "up" through the sky. Made us think of God's glory and heaven! "I'm walking up the glory road to heaven, by faith it seems to be not far away..."
*The cemetery is very close to the road we take heading home, so we were able to stop for a few minutes on the way. "See you later, Mom."
I remember Stephanie Schwartz saying something similar "to" her dad during his service.
*Safe travel both ways, and all the time we were there.
*Everyone stayed healthy. Chris had a few problems (he stayed up late every night working on things; they do it often), but I felt a lot better than I expected to, even with a lot less sleep and a wacky schedule.
*Several of Chris' unsaved family members came on Friday and to the service Saturday, and heard the gospel. They came to the house for awhile after the dinner Saturday, and the Lord helped us talk to them. I usually don't do very well at that.
*I had an opportunity to comfort and encourage in the Lord one of Mom's dearest friends, who has had the same kind of cancer, and is now having some physical difficulties, so they are wondering if it is back and has metastasized. Her name is Betty; husband, Earl.
*Some friends provided Chris and Jeanie with a gift certificate to a restaurant near their house, and we were all able to go out for dinner one night (except my dad and brother, who weren't there).
*Hugs and comforting words from dear friends.
*Friends who picked up extra copies of the papers for us, so we could have the obituaries.
*Max and Cheryl, Dad's neighbors, and Earl and Betty (mentioned earlier), who checked on Dad while he was at the house for a couple of days, and brought him food.
*Our former pastor from Grace Baptist in Angola, who twice told me to let him know if there was anything we needed/they could do.
*God's grace for Pastor Kaukonen, who did TWO funerals last week. After Mom's, his wife, Jan (another of Mom's best friends), was going to Grand Rapids for the weekend to help with her mom. Jan also played for our service Saturday.
*I think I only saw one ladybug in the house this time. Last time there were quite a few, in the bathroom, dining room, our bedroom, etc., etc.
*When I hugged Dad before we left, he asked when he would see me again.
*Special sister hugs.
*Learning so many things--about funerals, my parents, my brother, my sister and her family, ourselves, friends, family, God, living the Christian life, belief, faith, trust, acceptance, compassion, love, etc., etc.
Some quirky/funny things:
*The obituary in the Sturgis paper said, "...Pastor Aaron Kaukonen of Maple Grove Cemetery..." We all laughed at that, and he got a lot of teasing about having a captive audience, a dead church, etc. He is the pastor at First Baptist in Findlay; Maple Grove is where we buried Mom.
*Allen's habit of saying, "Know this..." when telling us things. :-)
*Chris forgetting to lead us in one of the songs during the service, right before the message. So, he read the words after the message and before the last hymn.
*An old friend from our church in Colon died three hours after Mom did (Pastor K. did her funeral, too). We had fun picturing their meeting in glory. :-)
*Pastor Kaukonen knew two of my cousins in college. I didn't even know one of them existed, though I remember his dad, my Uncle Earl. Pastor even thought he'd taken my cousin Laurel on a date once.
*The kids trying to pry up the elevator/lift door in the floor at the funeral home, because they were curious about what was under there. =-O
*How quickly Nathan went from tears to being fine when there was something else to attract his attention. Once when he came in Jeanie was on the phone, and refused to be comforted by Dad or me. I suddenly remembered some pretty stones I'd found while going through Mom's things in the garage (Nathan loves pretty stones) and a green box (he loves green), so I showed him the stones and we went to the garage to find a "treasure box" to keep them in. That was all it took. It will be a nice memento of Mom for him.
*Jeanie said that not long after I went home last time, she was standing at the kitchen sink when Nathan came up behind her and giggled. She asked him what was so funny, and he said, "I thought you were Aunt Cherie!"
*Pictures, especially the one of Dad and Mom in costume.
*Another woman with the same name as my mom (even the same middle initial!) had died in South Bend a couple of days before Mom did. When Allen called hospice to get doctor information so he could get the death certificates, they gave him the name of the doctor in that county. All went well until he asked them about picking up the certificates. They said, "Your man came and got them yesterday!" They went back and forth with him for awhile about that, both parties getting a little frustrated, then suddenly Allen realized the problem, and asked what county they were in. Then he knew it was the wrong doctor's office. He had seen the other woman's obituary and thought it a strange coincidence, as did we when he told us.
Again, thank you all so much for your prayers and concern. With God's help, we will all make it through this. He has taught us much already.
Pressing on by His grace,
All of us survivors
We are trusting that Mom is rejoicing in heaven, and want to thank all of you for your prayers, care, cards, and concern during this difficult time. God was very gracious to us last week. There were some things that we wish had not happened, but here is a list of some of the blessings, not in any particular order:
*Several weeks ago one of Mom's best friends had visited, and got Mom to write down and discuss more about funeral arrangements than Chris and Jeanie had been able to get her to do. That was a huge help as we worked on arrangements last week.
*I called Mom on Saturday night, instead of waiting until Sunday. By then she was on morphine and pretty much incoherent. She was lucid for a few minutes on Monday morning when the hospice aide was there cleaning her up. That was the last time.
*Her pain was somewhat better on Monday, and she was resting more easily, so Chris and Jeanie decided to make a quick trip to the local funeral home to gather information in the afternoon. The funeral director was very kind and helpful. Little did any of them know just how soon they would need his services!
*Mom did not suffer long. Because Mom was sleeping so much, Jeanie had been working downstairs Monday evening, and had to go upstairs for a few minutes. On her way up, she stopped to listen for Mom's breathing. She heard it, so she continued on up the stairs. When she came down a few minutes later, she didn't hear Mom. She ran over, but Mom was gone.
*Hospice moved very quickly when called, and they picked up everything the next day so we wouldn't have to see it. It did leave a huge empty place in the living room, however, where the hospital bed had been. Later in the week Dad asked to have something put there, so Dewayne and David moved the recliner to that corner. Also, we were home when FedEx came with something for Mom, so Chris was able to refuse it.
*They were able to keep the body at the house until we got there, which was about 1:30 a.m. Tuesday (Mom died at 6:55 p.m. Monday). The funeral director, Allen Earl, came with his wife, Louella, in the middle of the night to pick up the body and again, they were very kind and compassionate.
*The Earls were a great blessing throughout the whole process. They carefully walked us through the myriad of details that needed to be taken care of, worked hard to keep costs down (for Dad's sake, especially; Mom didn't have much life insurance), and were very patient in answering our many questions. Allen even gave me extra materials for planning a funeral, as this experience got Dewayne and I to thinking. The funeral home was a lovely old house and beautifully decorated.
*It did not rain until after the graveside service.
*Just over 100 people came to the calling hours Friday. It was so nice to see old friends, and family members I hadn't seen for ages. One of Mom's surviving brothers was able to make it. So did my (and Jeanie's) old high school business teacher.
*Most of Mom's pictures were at Chris and Jeanie's, so we were able to make use of them for a couple of picture boards. We also located the hymns she wanted used at her service.
*I was able to play two songs for the service.
*There were a lot of flowers and plants, making a very nice display. Dewayne's family sent a huge basket full of plants, and David's employer sent a planter, too. Parker sent a meat-and-cheese box to our house.
*Dad was able to give some input into all the arrangements. We felt badly that he probably didn't hear much of what was going on. Crowds and noise are hard on him because his hearing aid acts up.
*Dewayne, David, and Daniel were all told by their employers to take as much time as they needed. It was a great blessing to me to have them with me during the week. David went with us Monday, Daniel drove over on Tuesday afternoon, which was good since we needed the space of two cars to bring everything home. Thank the Lord, He gave Dewayne strength to drive and stay awake for the 5-hour trip over there, after a full day at work.
*People from the area churches brought food for us throughout the week, and provided a nice dinner after the service Saturday. There was also a lot of food available for us during calling hours. Some old, dear friends took charge of everything involved with that.
*Jeanie and I were able to go through a lot of Mom's things. Most of her clothing and personal items were at Jeanie's house. It was hard to see Dad going through the things in the living room.
*David and Daniel spent some time babysitting and playing with Nathan, which was a big help to Chris and Jeanie and gave "Grampa" a break. They also helped with various aspects of the arrangements.
*A family had purchased a number of burial plots in the old section of Maple Grove Cemetery in Argos, not far from Chris and Jeanie's house. One man and his wife had moved to Florida years ago and decided to be buried there, so they asked Allen to sell their plots and gave him the deeds. The original purchase price was $200; Allen said he'd ask if they would sell them for that, and if not, would we pay $300? We said yes. The man would not sell for $200, but he would for $300. Praise the Lord! The current rate for EACH plot was $350, and we got TWO of them for $300. They were in a great spot--next to the main road and under a maple tree. Easy for Dad to find.
*One of the greatest blessings for me came on Friday during calling hours, when one of my sons suddenly said to me, "The Gerbers are here!" I nearly fell off the bench; surely not! Yet, there they all were. They took time out of their vacation and drove two hours one way to come and minister to us in our sorrow. It made my whole day! Even now I can't think of it without crying and thanking the Lord for such friends. Were it not for the distance, I'm sure others of you would have come as well.
*Throughout the week we had many occasions to be grateful for Heritage Baptist Church and the folks there. In the past eleven years we have learned much. Thank you very much, Pastor Alvis, for your faithful preaching of God's Word that has brought about so much change and growth in our lives! Thank you, people of Heritage, for your prayers, love, and concern. It has been a joy to worship and minister with you.
God is so good!!!
*Saturday night I happened to glance out the window and saw a glorious sunset! Jeanie and I went outside to look at it and try to take pictures. There was a dark blue cloud bank, but right above it was brilliant yellow, with an even more brilliant "path" going "up" through the sky. Made us think of God's glory and heaven! "I'm walking up the glory road to heaven, by faith it seems to be not far away..."
*The cemetery is very close to the road we take heading home, so we were able to stop for a few minutes on the way. "See you later, Mom."
I remember Stephanie Schwartz saying something similar "to" her dad during his service.
*Safe travel both ways, and all the time we were there.
*Everyone stayed healthy. Chris had a few problems (he stayed up late every night working on things; they do it often), but I felt a lot better than I expected to, even with a lot less sleep and a wacky schedule.
*Several of Chris' unsaved family members came on Friday and to the service Saturday, and heard the gospel. They came to the house for awhile after the dinner Saturday, and the Lord helped us talk to them. I usually don't do very well at that.
*I had an opportunity to comfort and encourage in the Lord one of Mom's dearest friends, who has had the same kind of cancer, and is now having some physical difficulties, so they are wondering if it is back and has metastasized. Her name is Betty; husband, Earl.
*Some friends provided Chris and Jeanie with a gift certificate to a restaurant near their house, and we were all able to go out for dinner one night (except my dad and brother, who weren't there).
*Hugs and comforting words from dear friends.
*Friends who picked up extra copies of the papers for us, so we could have the obituaries.
*Max and Cheryl, Dad's neighbors, and Earl and Betty (mentioned earlier), who checked on Dad while he was at the house for a couple of days, and brought him food.
*Our former pastor from Grace Baptist in Angola, who twice told me to let him know if there was anything we needed/they could do.
*God's grace for Pastor Kaukonen, who did TWO funerals last week. After Mom's, his wife, Jan (another of Mom's best friends), was going to Grand Rapids for the weekend to help with her mom. Jan also played for our service Saturday.
*I think I only saw one ladybug in the house this time. Last time there were quite a few, in the bathroom, dining room, our bedroom, etc., etc.
*When I hugged Dad before we left, he asked when he would see me again.
*Special sister hugs.
*Learning so many things--about funerals, my parents, my brother, my sister and her family, ourselves, friends, family, God, living the Christian life, belief, faith, trust, acceptance, compassion, love, etc., etc.
Some quirky/funny things:
*The obituary in the Sturgis paper said, "...Pastor Aaron Kaukonen of Maple Grove Cemetery..." We all laughed at that, and he got a lot of teasing about having a captive audience, a dead church, etc. He is the pastor at First Baptist in Findlay; Maple Grove is where we buried Mom.
*Allen's habit of saying, "Know this..." when telling us things. :-)
*Chris forgetting to lead us in one of the songs during the service, right before the message. So, he read the words after the message and before the last hymn.
*An old friend from our church in Colon died three hours after Mom did (Pastor K. did her funeral, too). We had fun picturing their meeting in glory. :-)
*Pastor Kaukonen knew two of my cousins in college. I didn't even know one of them existed, though I remember his dad, my Uncle Earl. Pastor even thought he'd taken my cousin Laurel on a date once.
*The kids trying to pry up the elevator/lift door in the floor at the funeral home, because they were curious about what was under there. =-O
*How quickly Nathan went from tears to being fine when there was something else to attract his attention. Once when he came in Jeanie was on the phone, and refused to be comforted by Dad or me. I suddenly remembered some pretty stones I'd found while going through Mom's things in the garage (Nathan loves pretty stones) and a green box (he loves green), so I showed him the stones and we went to the garage to find a "treasure box" to keep them in. That was all it took. It will be a nice memento of Mom for him.
*Jeanie said that not long after I went home last time, she was standing at the kitchen sink when Nathan came up behind her and giggled. She asked him what was so funny, and he said, "I thought you were Aunt Cherie!"
*Pictures, especially the one of Dad and Mom in costume.
*Another woman with the same name as my mom (even the same middle initial!) had died in South Bend a couple of days before Mom did. When Allen called hospice to get doctor information so he could get the death certificates, they gave him the name of the doctor in that county. All went well until he asked them about picking up the certificates. They said, "Your man came and got them yesterday!" They went back and forth with him for awhile about that, both parties getting a little frustrated, then suddenly Allen realized the problem, and asked what county they were in. Then he knew it was the wrong doctor's office. He had seen the other woman's obituary and thought it a strange coincidence, as did we when he told us.
Again, thank you all so much for your prayers and concern. With God's help, we will all make it through this. He has taught us much already.
Pressing on by His grace,
All of us survivors
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
24 Hours to Live--How Shall I Spend Them?
Our recent Old Testament Bible reading has been in I Samuel. King Saul had disobeyed the Lord several times, and Samuel had told him the Lord had rejected him from being king, and that David would be the new king. Saul added to his sins by pursuing David with the intent to kill him. Upon being confronted by his son, Jonathan, about this, Saul became enraged and sought to kill him with a spear. Later, David also confronted him about this on at least two occasions. Each time, Saul appeared to repent, but it was short-lived, and soon David was on the run from him again.
Finally, the Philistines gathered together for war. Saul, very much afraid, asked his servants if they knew of a medium he could contact, since Samuel was now dead. So Saul went to the witch of En-dor, and God allowed Samuel's spirit to rise from the ground (much to the witch's surprise and terror) and talk to Saul. Samuel told Saul he would die in the battle, along with his sons. Saul's response?
Finally, the Philistines gathered together for war. Saul, very much afraid, asked his servants if they knew of a medium he could contact, since Samuel was now dead. So Saul went to the witch of En-dor, and God allowed Samuel's spirit to rise from the ground (much to the witch's surprise and terror) and talk to Saul. Samuel told Saul he would die in the battle, along with his sons. Saul's response?
"Then Saul fell immediately full length on the earth, and was
very much afraid, because of the words of Samuel;
and there was no strength in him;for he had eaten
no bread all the day,nor all the night."
(I Samuel 28:20)
very much afraid, because of the words of Samuel;
and there was no strength in him;for he had eaten
no bread all the day,nor all the night."
(I Samuel 28:20)
The following verses tell how the woman and servants persuaded Saul to eat, then the Bible says, "Then they rose up, and went away that night." (I Samuel 28:25b) Saul, who claimed to be a believer in the one true God, had just been handed his death sentence. He had maybe 24 hours left to live. What did he do with that time? The Bible does not say, though we can infer that he rejoined the army of Israel before the battle began.
It got me to thinking. If I knew I would die tomorrow night, what would I be doing? I would hope that I would be confessing and repenting of sin, restoring any broken relationships, spending time with my husband and two sons, and most importantly, spending as much time as possible with God, since I would soon be seeing Him. I was also challenged to be doing those things NOW, since none of us knows when we will be called Home.
It was troubling to see a family member who was terminally ill, and claimed to be a Christian, spending all of her time reading romance novels, watching TV, doing picture puzzles, and doing word puzzles. I did not see her read her Bible, and it was not even on her bedside table for quite some time. Surely she realized she would soon be meeting her Maker. Why didn't she spend more time with Him? Only she and God knew the answer to that question. Thinking of this led to the thoughts on these passages today.
It got me to thinking. If I knew I would die tomorrow night, what would I be doing? I would hope that I would be confessing and repenting of sin, restoring any broken relationships, spending time with my husband and two sons, and most importantly, spending as much time as possible with God, since I would soon be seeing Him. I was also challenged to be doing those things NOW, since none of us knows when we will be called Home.
It was troubling to see a family member who was terminally ill, and claimed to be a Christian, spending all of her time reading romance novels, watching TV, doing picture puzzles, and doing word puzzles. I did not see her read her Bible, and it was not even on her bedside table for quite some time. Surely she realized she would soon be meeting her Maker. Why didn't she spend more time with Him? Only she and God knew the answer to that question. Thinking of this led to the thoughts on these passages today.
Sunday, May 9, 2010
Hymns #7 - The Blood of Christ, Thy Spotless Lamb
The Blood of Christ, Thy Spotless Lamb
The blood of Christ, Thy spotless Lamb,
O God, is all my plea;
Naught else could for my sin atone;
I have no merit of my own,
Which I can bring to Thee.
No sacrifice save His who bore,
My load upon the tree,
No other plea which lips could frame,
No other blood, no other name,
Accepted is by Thee.
Since Christ has entered by His blood,
The holiest on high;
By that same hallowed blood stained track,
Thou welcomest the wanderer back,
And biddest me draw nigh.
Oh, wondrous cross! Oh precious blood!
Oh death by which I live!
The sinless One, for me made sin,
Doth now His wondrous heart within,
Eternal refuge give.
By that blest cross, that cleansing blood,
I know His power to save;
The merits of His work confess,
I stand in Him completely blest,
A conqueror o’er the grave.
(Words by William S. W. Pond)
Friday, May 7, 2010
This Is My Father's World - Psalm 104
The psalmist begins with "Bless the LORD, O my soul," and goes on to tell why he is doing that. He speaks of God's work at creation and His continuing care for everything He has made. Here are selected verses from the psalm:
He sendeth the springs into the valleys,
which run among the hills.
They give drink to every beast of the field;
the wild asses quench their thirst.
By them shall the fowls of the heavens have their habitation,
that sing among the branches...
He causeth the grass to grow for the cattle,
and herb for the service of man,
that he may bring forth food out of the earth...
The trees of the LORD are full of sap...
Where the birds make their nests...
The high hills are a refuge for the wild goats;
and the rocks for the badgers...
Thou makest darkness, and it is night,
wherein all the beasts of the forest do creep forth.
The young lions roar after their prey,
and seek their food from God...
Man goeth forth unto his work and
to his labor until the evening.
O LORD, how manifold are Thy works!
In wisdom hast Thou made them all;
the earth is full of Thy riches.
So is this great and wide sea, wherein are things
creeping innumerable, both small and great beasts...
These all wait upon Thee, that Thou mayest
give them their food in due season.
That which Thou givest them they gather;
Thou openest Thine hand, they are filled with good.
Thou hidest Thy face, they are troubled;
Thou takest away their breath, they die,
and return to their dust.
Thou sendest forth Thy Spirit, they are created;
and Thou renewest the face of the earth.
The glory of the LORD shall endure forever;
the LORD shall rejoice in His works.
which run among the hills.
They give drink to every beast of the field;
the wild asses quench their thirst.
By them shall the fowls of the heavens have their habitation,
that sing among the branches...
He causeth the grass to grow for the cattle,
and herb for the service of man,
that he may bring forth food out of the earth...
The trees of the LORD are full of sap...
Where the birds make their nests...
The high hills are a refuge for the wild goats;
and the rocks for the badgers...
Thou makest darkness, and it is night,
wherein all the beasts of the forest do creep forth.
The young lions roar after their prey,
and seek their food from God...
Man goeth forth unto his work and
to his labor until the evening.
O LORD, how manifold are Thy works!
In wisdom hast Thou made them all;
the earth is full of Thy riches.
So is this great and wide sea, wherein are things
creeping innumerable, both small and great beasts...
These all wait upon Thee, that Thou mayest
give them their food in due season.
That which Thou givest them they gather;
Thou openest Thine hand, they are filled with good.
Thou hidest Thy face, they are troubled;
Thou takest away their breath, they die,
and return to their dust.
Thou sendest forth Thy Spirit, they are created;
and Thou renewest the face of the earth.
The glory of the LORD shall endure forever;
the LORD shall rejoice in His works.
Parts of this psalm kept coming to mind the past couple of weeks as I hiked two trails at a local metro park several times. Lilacs, wild geraniums, wild blue phlox, bluebells, bloodroot, trillium, spring beauties, violets, flowering trees, Dutchman's breeches, etc. were just beautiful! I marveled over and over again at God's creative and sustaining power. It was overwhelming to think how many creatures there must be in the world, plus all the plants, and God feeds and takes care of them all! And, He has no trouble doing it!
It also reminds me of a line from one of the songs we've taught the little children in our class at church: "For if the Father's eye is on the sparrow, then surely He will care for you."
It was a great comfort to meditate on God's care for each of us, and myself in particular, during this time of my mother's terminal illness. We are all in God's hands, and He will glorify Himself and do what is best for us.
It also reminds me of a line from one of the songs we've taught the little children in our class at church: "For if the Father's eye is on the sparrow, then surely He will care for you."
It was a great comfort to meditate on God's care for each of us, and myself in particular, during this time of my mother's terminal illness. We are all in God's hands, and He will glorify Himself and do what is best for us.
Sunday, May 2, 2010
Hymns #6 - Arise, My Soul, Arise
Arise, My Soul, Arise
Arise, my soul, arise; shake off thy guilty fears;
The bleeding sacrifice in my behalf appears:
Before the throne my surety stands,
Before the throne my surety stands,
My name is written on His hands.
He ever lives above, for me to intercede;
His all redeeming love, His precious blood, to plead:
His blood atoned for all our race,
His blood atoned for all our race,
And sprinkles now the throne of grace.
Five bleeding wounds He bears; received on Calvary;
They pour effectual prayers; they strongly plead for me:
“Forgive him, O forgive,” they cry,
“Forgive him, O forgive,” they cry,
“Nor let that ransomed sinner die!”
The Father hears Him pray, His dear anointed One;
He cannot turn away, the presence of His Son;
His Spirit answers to the blood,
His Spirit answers to the blood,
And tells me I am born of God.
My God is reconciled; His pardoning voice I hear;
He owns me for His child; I can no longer fear:
With confidence I now draw nigh,
With confidence I now draw nigh,
And “Father, Abba, Father,” cry.
(Words by Charles Wesley)
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